I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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