just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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