This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
