Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
