Apparently you make a good broom.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
