Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
they need to just BURY HIM!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
