the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
