Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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