I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
