I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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