Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
