She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
