we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
