is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
