He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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