that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
