Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
