well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
