do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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