If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
