bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
