if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
