that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
