i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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