Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Randomize
