Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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