i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
