Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
