I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
