wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
