it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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