We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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