we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
