You can't special order awesome
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
