chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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