I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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