I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
