God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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