Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Everclear isn't food dammit
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
