You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
