arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
