One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
