Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i will never coherently bang her
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
