yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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