We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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