if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
