He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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