Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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