I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
