The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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