glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
only you would photoshop your dick
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
